You are close to God and I think he speaks to you. Not anymore but in school about 22 years ago, I used to sing for a charismatic group. Just singing religeous songs changed the attitude of my teachers toward me. Singing for God unknowingly mde me a good person. I also had the gift of tongues to pary for others, even though now many believe it is woodoo, at that time I was not making it up. But now, I doubt what this was. I sing more than pray as then I feel spiritual energy, but do not feel comfortable praying in tongues anymore.

I am having similar thoughts about writing erotica.